ghore:

I’m on a new diet called don’t fucking look at me

(via its-lezbehonest)

silohouettes:

Dear future son/daughter

I know that I may not be the best parent, but swear on my mother fucking life that I will never leave you at the supermarket checkouts alone because I know that shit is terrifying and I’m not a fucking monster

(via wouldyoukindlykissmyfist)

spoopykatee:

my mom just said “watch this” then ran a red light and said “i just don’t care”

(Source: alieniverson, via m16-s-nicotine)

amberisntacrayon:

I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.

(via rainpoureddown)

krystalrneth:

U know you’ve grown up when you don’t find the same people on YouTube funny anymore

(Source: foodtrucker, via rainpoureddown)

emorenita:

all i need in this life of sin is arroz y frijoles

(via squatforthe-booty)